Dark and Cold

E atat de frig...In mine.
E asa intuneric...in mine...mult mai intuneric decat in cea mai neagra noapte...

No "thank you", please!

I think that for love and friendship there's no need to say thank you.

You don't know what it's like.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Sick of me

   "Sick of being miserable"...Mda...cam stiu cum e...cam am ajuns si eu in faza asta, dar chestia e ca nu prea stiu cum sa ies din aceasta stare si nici nu cred ca depinde foarte mult de mine... O fi, n-o fi asa, dar asta cred si nu-mi iese din cap...

   Sincer...incep sa ma satur sa fiu eu...Ma satur de senzatia asta idioata ca nu ma simt in regula nicaieri...de faptul ca nu pot avea incredere in lumea asta perfida...de faptul ca nu am un loc al meu, in afara de camera in care ma retrag pt a asculta muzica sau a citi ceva, pretinzand ca astea ma vor ajuta sa uit de golul din mine...

   Si, ca de obicei, imi fac mereu de lucru, imi ocupa fiecare minut din zi, tocmai pentru a nu ma gandi la nimic, pentru a nu ma gandi la tot ce imi lipseste...But, bloody hell...I can't get away! Tot vine momentul in care ma pun in pat seara si, inainte sa adorm, raman singura cu mintea mea...raman la cheremul ei...iar ea nu se sfieste sa ma tortureze ori de cate ori are ocazia...

   Cum poti sa-ti faci mintea sa taca odata din gura? Cum poti sa-ti faci inima sa inceteze cu sperantele si visele inutile? Incerc sa nu le mai dau atentie, stiu ca sunt in zadar, dar totusi ele raman in mine. Oricat as zice eu ca nu e asa, ca sunt cat de cat okay... Intr-un fel stiu, fiindca, asa cum am mai spus, am avut o perioada in care nu mai simteam nimic...perioada care a fost declansata de o mare dezamagire. 

   Oare sunt pregatita sa trec din nou prin asa ceva doar ca sa mi se intoarca indiferenta aia completa? Nu stiu...Nu mai stiu nimic...

No one left

   Ce aiurea e cand trebuie sa mergi intr-un loc...in care stii ca nu ai pentru cine sa fii acolo... Ca nu mai gasesti pe nimeni care sa conteze...si ca nu vei putea scapa prea curand...

 
   I'm starting to feel that more than ever now... And the worst part is I don't have any place to be there for someone in particular...There is no one left...

January mood

Am I the only one that gets sad in January...?

Understanding myself, finally...

Maybe...after all this...I'm starting to want all or nothing. I decide if it can be all or nothing, so it becomes easy to let go, when I don't think I can take all from something....

Don't you understand me? There is no need :-j
I understand myself.